I hope everyone has a wonderful Fourth of July!
Personally, I will be taking time next week to try and reset my brain. Its no secret that I have been very out of sorts this year. The passing of my father was only the beginning of what has been one of the most difficult times of my life. Honestly, it has been so trying and overwhelming at times, that I couldn't think of how to share it on my blog. That is why I have been away so much. Facing other health problems in my family, issues in my marriage, and frustrating professional dealings have left me truly spent. Trying to be creative has been the last thing on my mind.
On the other hand, I have learned many, many things too! For one, I realize how short life is and we should make the most of it, everyday. I also realize how much I have changed the last couple of years. I am not the same person. Most of my priorities have transformed before my eyes. Mostly, I have let go of the hold material things had on my life. Objects and "status symbols" mean very little to me anymore. That is another issue w/ this blog, its difficult to keep writing about furniture and shopping; when I really don't care about it much. I also struggle with pretending to care! At this point, what I really care about is the well being of my family, healing past wounds, caring for others, and expressing my creativity in a way that truly comes from my soul...and I really don't know what that means right now. I'm trying to figure it out.
For months, I've been debating whether I should share all this. I mean most readers want to see article about interior design for goodness sakes! Then it occurred to me that I began this site as a way to express my thoughts and ideas that I often have to keep to myself, because there is no room for them in my day to day. So, that's what I'm doing!! I will be taking this blog in a more personal and introspective direction, because that's where I am right now. Not to say, that I won't write about design; because it is still something I love. Except, design has changed for me. I'm no longer interested in designing rooms or homes that I can brag about or that exist to "impress" others. I want design to be an expression and refuge for the soul. I dream of homes becoming an extension of the owner's inner person, w/out regard to trends and pedigree. Yes, I do realize how crazy this can sound, but its what I feel.
So, I hope that all of you can forgive my current self-examination and self-questioning. Maybe I'm not the only one feeling like this and maybe some of you understand perfectly what I'm saying. So, as you can see I even neutralized the blog title on format. What was there doesn't really represent me anymore, but I'm still not sure what does. That's why I decided to sort of take away everything until I know what I want. Man, all of this sounds crazier than I thought! Crazy or not, I felt I needed to say it here. Think of me what you will, but I wanted to be honest. OK, that's all for now. Thanks for reading this all the way through and I will be back soon:)
Carolina
